Had a wonderful day in Malibu with my adopted Dad (because stepdad doesn’t suit him) and he surprised me with my name tattooed on his hand! That’s something I like to call LOVE.

You know, sometimes life throws something at you that can break your heart. My wonderful great grandmother passed this morning, and although our family’s hearts are broken, we will always remember her tremendous strength, her spitfire personality, and her unconditional love. I know she’s in Heaven, looking down on us, seeing us crying and saying, “alright girls, wipe your tears, fix your mascara, have a glass of wine, put on your best dress and go shopping!”

She is the epitome of class, dignity, relentlessness, and poise. Her unconditional love will remain in our hearts forever. She had the gift of touching people’s lives in her own special way. Although I’ll miss cocktails with her, shopping at Neiman Marcus (because she would NEVER settle for less), gambling with her in Vegas, and dishing on the latest gossip, I know she’s with me and she’s everything I ever want to be; strong, elegant, sassy, faithful, and to love unconditionally.

It’s time like these when you come to appreciate your family and your friends. To the people who have reached out to me (Nicholas, you especially), I am eternally grateful.

My great grandmother always told me that God has a plan. Whether the road is rocky or smooth, to never give up hope and to never lose sight of faith because a blessing comes through the trials.

No matter where my life is headed from this point, I will always keep my faith that the sun shines after the rain.

Great Gamma, you were the matriarch of our family. You loved each and every one of us so dearly and we love you so much. We all have had the honor and blessing of having such an amazing woman in our lives and your memory will live through all of us eternally. You knew you were ready and you were never afraid of leaving this Earth because of your undying faith in God. Now he’s gained the most beautiful angel, and certainly the most stylish. We love you.

Now go put on your best dress, fix your mascara, and go join the party. Our paths will cross again one day, and until then, enjoy your view from the clouds.

Today was amazing. Had an excellent interview and got called back for a third and final. I’m hoping I get it, but even if I don’t, I know there’s something out there for me and I’m going to find it. I realized now, more than ever, what I’m worth and what I can offer.

To top it all off, I had an incredible night with Jess and her munchkins at the Taylor Swift concert. She was stunning, adorable, humble, and the little ray of sunshine I needed to keep me looking forward and keeping a smile on my face.

All I know is that it’s all up from here and I couldn’t be more ready and more grateful.

This storm is calming and I know the sun is coming out for me soon.

Thank God.

MAYBE I’M IN THE BLACK, MAYBE I’M ON MY KNEES
MAYBE I’M IN THE GAP BETWEEN THE TWO TRAPEZES
BUT MY HEART IS BEATING AND MY PULSES START
CATHEDRALS IN MY HEART

AND WE SAW OH THIS LIGHT I SWEAR YOU, EMERGE BLINKING INTO
TO TELL ME IT’S ALRIGHT
AS WE SOAR WALLS, EVERY SIREN IS A SYMPHONY
EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL

Surgery: delayed due to minor infection that is being treated with antibiotics. Still waiting but it will come. And Papa will be ready!

Praying everything tomorrow goes well. My Papa is really nervous and I’m just praying that God takes all of that away and gives him peace of mind, gives him hope, and gives him the will to keep fighting. I know he’s strong…I know he can do this. I need him to know he can do this. Just taking a deep breath and hoping that everything is gonna be okay.

A bit of a setback won’t keep you off your feet. Keep fighting Papa, you can make it through this. I love you so much

My heart and my thoughts are still focused on Papa. Praying that things keep progressing and that he can willfully make himself strong enough for surgery. Also praying that Gamma can relax and try not to feel as though she’s alone in this. I’m so lucky to have amazing friends that are keeping my family in their thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much <3